Headstrong

Mark and I have been waiting for this day for a while now! We have been official Floridians for almost a year and decided it was time for a boat! The planning and building and cyphering was complete, Lucretia Redwine was ready for her maiden voyage. Checklist finished, we headed to the marina both of us anxious and excited. She rolled off the trailer with no problems, and floated! Whew, glad we passed that first test.
Took a bit to get the gas from the tank in the front of the boat to the motor in the back, but she finally started and purred like a kitten. 2nd test~pass!

We drove around for about an hour, loving every minute of being back on the water. We both were just raving and ranting about how much we loved our new boat! It was great! Traveling around the waters that we have come to know over the last 10 years or so. It felt completely comfortable, it was like we were visiting an old friend.

Speaking of old friends, our friend Sam was nearby doing some work on Little Gasparilla Island. Sam is of course a boat expert, water expert and in fact I think he may have gills. He hopped aboard to check out the newest addition to the Parker family. This is where the story goes slightly downhill or should I say backwards? Mark gives her the gas and the cooler that I am sitting on goes sllllloooooowwwwwly backwards, tiiiiiiippppping and down I go. OUCH that hurt! I say a few choice favorite swear words all together in a nice sentence! It is confirmed once I move my hand that I have indeed cut my head open. Shit. I start panicking of course, saying really stupid things, like, "I don't want to be bleeding". duh. We drop Sam back off at his boat and start back to the marina.

Thankfully everything went super smooth, one try and the boat was on the trailer, I actually drove the truck/trailer/boat out of the water, Mark got everything hooked up and away we went. This whole time mind you I am still panicking, and holding a nice white towel with some ice on my head.

In the car I have a TERRIBLE thought and it scares me to death. What if the same thing happens to me that happened to that actress after she hit her head on the ski slope....and later died? More panicking. Mark tries to calm me down and assures me that I will not die. I did warn you that I said some silly things, and believe me it gets worse. You have to remember that I have a low tolerance for any pain, and I have never had stitches or a broken bone in my life! We arrive at the Englewood Hospital ER and it is not busy so I am in luck. I get seen pretty much right away and they start prodding and probing around which I do not like. I tell anyone that will listen that I don't like any pain, so be nice.

I then tell the two nurses that I don't want to end up like Natasha Kinski and die.

OK, Mark breaks it to me gently after they leave that Natasha Kinski is alive and well. Oh my word, I didn't even get her name right, which is pretty damn funny. It was Natasha Richardson who died. What a dork I am!
They do a CT scan and while waiting for the results we get our first "roommate". A woman probably in her late 70's. We are only separated by a curtain and so we can hear everything that is said. She had just been discharged from the hospital on Friday and now she is back again. She has the shits. It happens and gives her no warnings, she just shits, shits shits. Poop bombs is what they are like. Well, to be honest this is just tmi! Mark and I can't even look at each other for fear of laughing out loud. I am not making fun of this woman at all and I feel bad that she is not feeling well, but it was funny to listen to her. She starts to cough and I think we all know what comes next. "Oh there it goes" is heard from behind the curtain. Now this certainly made the time go by and kept my mind of my own worries, the main one being the pain that was going to be involved in the stitching up part.

The Dr. finally comes back and wants to know if I want Novocaine or just put in the couple of staples and get it over with. Oh please! I start crying and my body goes into this shaking borderline convulsing thing and they know what they have to do. Novocaine for sure. So, I am laying face down, gripping the pillow and preparing for something that is probably similar to stubbing your toe. I can't help it. I don't know why I am this way, I am certainly tough in other areas of my life, but not this one. The Novocaine isn't too bad, and it is actually a good thing we went this route as upon further cleaning of the wound, it is discovered that the cut goes all the way to my skull, more of a puncture wound. So he has to do some inner stitches and then outer staples. 3 of the 6 staples hurt like a mo($%^ f&^$#r and I say so out loud.

They wrap my head up like a mummy and give me a tetanus shot and send us on our way. Mark was of course the model support person. This was our first trip to the ER in the 19 years that we have been together. Not a bad record. We make a good team no matter the circumstances.

So, in closing I offer these words of wisdom. Don't sit on an unsecured cooler.

Until next time, Mullet's out....